The topic of cancer can evoke lots of emotions, whether we’ve experienced it first-hand, know someone living with cancer, or have lost someone to cancer. With one in two people developing some form of cancer in their lifetime, many of us at some point may find ourselves supporting someone we know with cancer.
This article will explore ways to support others on their cancer journey, and cover self-care tips to help protect your own wellbeing.
Growing your awareness about someone’s experience
The impact of getting a diagnosis – Receiving a cancer diagnosis can be a huge shock and cause different emotions such as fear, anger, sadness and anxiety. It can also cause people to feel in denial, and they may not want to talk about it with anyone. There is no right or wrong way to feel, and everyone’s experience is unique to them.
Common feelings and emotions – As well as the feelings mentioned above, Cancer Research UK state that people may also feel uncertainty, guilt, frustration, loneliness, isolation, resentment and grief. There can be ups and downs throughout the process, and it’s not uncommon for someone’s mood to switch from one moment to the next. Read more about how cancer can make you feel at Cancer Research UK.
How to talk to someone with cancer
Cancer Research UK have created this video in collaboration with patients to offer tips on talking to someone with cancer. From useful questions to topic ideas, take a look to help start conversations with more confidence.
Practical ways you can help:
- Ask if they need anything – Ask if there is anything specific you can do to help them. They might not want any help, and that’s ok, respect their autonomy and perhaps check-in with them in future to see if they require anything then.
- Support with day-to-day tasks – If someone you know would like some practical help with everyday tasks, you could offer to assist with things such as making meals they can freeze, helping with household chores and picking up groceries.
- Provide a supportive environment – Try to offer emotional support, showing empathy, sensitivity, and a willingness to comprehend the different challenges they face. Listening is also key, try to be truly in the moment with them, allowing them to talk and share feelings without being judged. You may feel hopeless at times that there is nothing you can do to ‘fix’ the situation, but offering a supportive ear can make a significant difference to how someone feels.
- Offer support with transportation – This could include driving to appointments, treatments or to pick up prescriptions.
- Signpost to support – Further down we’ve included a list of supportive organisations which offer plenty of information and advice for navigating a cancer journey. Things like helplines and online forums where you can connect with others may provide some emotional comfort. You may also want to check what local support groups or charity events are taking place in your area.
Looking after yourself
This is key when supporting someone else, whether as a carer or not. Helping someone can take its toll on our own mental, physical and emotional wellbeing, and it can be incredibly difficult to see someone we care about suffer. Taking care of ourselves puts us in a better position to offer our support to others, and can reduce the risk of burnout and emotional exhaustion. Some tips to help look after your own wellbeing while caring for others include:
- Use your own support network – Leaning on the support of your own network can provide an opportunity for emotional release and help to give you strength during difficult times. Looking after others may lead to feelings of loneliness and isolation, so try to schedule time with others around any helping duties.
- Try to eat a healthy nutritious diet – Eating well can give you more energy, improve your mood and support your overall health.
- Try to get good quality sleep – Getting enough good quality sleep supports our physical and mental health. Try to get a good wind-down routine, and find tips on creating a sleep-friendly environment here.
- Aim to include 150 minutes of physical activity in your week – Physical activity can help to improve your mood, boost energy levels, reduce stress and anxiety, and support you to stay physically and mentally well.
- Make time to relax and enjoy your hobbies – Making time to unwind and engage in your interests can help to manage difficult times. It can help to reduce stress, restore energy levels and give us a sense of enjoyment.
- Recognise if you need further support – If you are struggling to cope while caring for someone else, recognise when you need professional help, and if so, make an appointment with your GP to find out what is available to you.
Supportive organisations
Cancer Research UK – Support and information, including on mental health.
Macmillan Cancer Support – Lots of supportive resources, including help with cost-of-living.
Maggie’s – A charity providing free expert care and support across the UK and online.
Marie Curie – Leading UK charity offering support for end of life.
NHS – Find local information and support in England.
Samaritans – Samaritan volunteers will listen to anyone struggling to cope or experiencing emotional distress. Call their confidential helpline 24/7 on 116 123.
Support for those caring for someone
If you give any unpaid help and support to someone with cancer who could not manage without your help you are a carer – even if the person is you partner, sibling, parent, child or friend.
Macmillan Cancer Support – Information on emotional support for carers as well as practical support.
Cancer Research UK – Advice on taking care of yourself and places to get support.
Carers First – Information about financial support as a carer.
Carers UK – Support for carers.
Sources:
www.cancerresearchuk.org/about-cancer/coping/family-friends-caregivers/how-support-someone-with-cancer
www.macmillan.org.uk
Ref: WPW0290 This information was published March 2024.
