What is suicide?
Suicide, or the intentional of taking one’s own life, can be triggered by many things. It can involve thoughts about ending life, or that the world would be a better place without that person in it. It can also include thinking about methods of suicide, or making clear plans to end life.
Such thoughts are not uncommon, as many people will think about suicide at some point in their life. When experiencing these types of thoughts it can be frightening, confusing and overwhelming. Associated feelings often stem from a sense hopelessness, psychological pain, despair, or depression.
Whatever the reason for these thoughts, suicide is very much an act of finality. And while it may seem like a rational solution to an unbearable problem, there are many people living today who have been to the brink and back, and who are grateful that they chose to stay with the pain and discomfort until they were able to restore the hope, purpose and happiness that had previously seemed unattainable.
If you have suicidal thoughts, it can be important to share them with someone, such as a close friend or relative, or a health professional like your GP or counsellor. There are also organisations like Samaritans, who provide a 24/7 free confidential helpline where you can speak privately and anonymously about how you are feeling. You can contact Samaritans by calling 116 123.
What factors may indicate a risk of suicide?
Factors which may indicate a risk of suicide include:
- Not being able to sleep, or waking up earlier than desired.
- A change in eating habits, leading to weight gain or loss.
- Reduced interest in self-care e.g. not washing or caring about appearance.
- Becoming isolated and avoiding friends and family.
- Not talking about thoughts and feelings.
- Becoming overly self-critical.
These can all be indicators of depression, hopelessness, low self-esteem, or other powerful emotions such as shame and despair. For some people, faced with the intensity of these feelings, suicide seems the only option.
Supporting someone who you think may be suicidal
If you notice changes in a family member, friend or work colleague do not be afraid to reach out and ask how they are. If it is appropriate, ask them if you can help. Listening to them and giving them space to talk can be very helpful. In other situations, discussing your options first in confidence with someone else may be helpful for you. This could be through occupational health or the individual’s GP. However, if there is an imminent threat of suicide or serious self-harm, the person should, if possible, be accompanied to A&E at a local hospital, or you should phone 999 and request emergency medical help. The NHS provides guidance on getting urgent help for a mental health crisis.
Understanding the impact of suicide on those left behind
Bereavement after someone has taken their own life is often more intense, complicated, and prolonged than it is from a death by natural causes.
Reactions can include:
- Shock – Some people will find it hard to accept what has happened, or the way in which it happened.
- Confusion – It can be difficult to reconcile or understand what led to such a final act.
- Despair – A suicide can leave some people with a sense of hopelessness and intense sadness, which may lead to depression.
- Anger – There may be anger directed towards the deceased (which may feel inappropriate) or levelled against family or friends, those who knew the deceased or those who found the body.
- Blame – People close to the deceased may become the object of blame, being treated by others as if they missed clues to the suicidal intentions, or blamed for not preventing the death.
- Grief – People will grieve in different ways relating to how they feel personally, their relationship to the deceased, and their previous experiences of bereavement and loss.
- Sadness – As people come to terms with the loss, sadness becomes a natural grief response. Tensions may arise as they try to reconcile ‘paying their respects’ with trying to get back to normality.
- Guilt – Sometimes there can be a common ‘could something have been done’ response, perhaps linked to a last conversation or recent contact with the deceased.
Many people can be affected by suicide. Relationships between colleagues at work may not always be as significant or as important as those with family and close friends, however, when someone at work dies this can affect everyone who knew and worked with the person. When someone in an organisation takes their life by suicide, the impact of the death can have a profound and disturbing impact on colleagues and team functioning.
Coping strategies after a suicide
Each response is unique. Some people may withdraw, finding it hard to talk about or preferring to deny what has happened, while others may need to talk. It is important that people do what is right for them. The charities Mind and Cruse share some advice on coping after a suicide.
Whilst each unique response should be clearly respected, if you are managing a team affected by the suicide of a colleague it is important to manage the situation in a way that is appropriate for all employees and your organisation as a whole.
Being able to talk about the experience in a safe and supportive environment can help people to come to terms with the suicide. Professional support, such as counselling, can be accessed through your GP. Alternatively, there are national helplines below that can offer support.
Further support
Samaritans – National 24/7 confidential listening service for people in crisis. Call 116 123.
CRUSE Bereavement Care – A national organisation offering emotional support for bereavement regardless of age, race or belief. Call 0808 808 1677 (Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday: 9.30am-5pm. Tuesday: 1pm – 8pm. Saturday – Sunday: Closed).
CRUSE Scotland – Call 0808 802 6161 (Monday to Friday: 9am – 8pm, weekends: 10am – 2pm).
SOBS – Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide – A national self-help organisation supporting people who have been bereaved by suicide. Call 0300 111 5065.
Hope Again – This website is designed for young people by young people. It is part of Cruse Bereavement Care’s Youth Involvement Project which aims to support young people after the death of someone close. Call 0808 808 1677 (Monday – Friday: 9.30am-3pm).
Mind – Information on a range of mental health issues with information and sign posting to other organisations. Call the Mind Infoline on 0300 123 3393.
Breathing Space Scotland – A free, confidential service for people in Scotland experiencing a wide range of mental health issues. Call 0800 83 85 87 (Monday – Thursday: 6pm – 2am and Friday 6pm – Monday 6am).
SAMH – Scottish Association for Mental Health.
Ref: WPW0035 this information was reviewed May 2024.
