As a manager, addressing issues in the workplace is an important part of your role, whether they relate to business processes, employee performance, or behaviour and conduct. However, the prospect of having a difficult conversation with an employee can feel daunting. It’s natural to feel anxious or distracted by the thought of navigating these discussions.
The good news is that with the right approach and mindset, you can build confidence in handling these conversations effectively. Below are some key considerations to help you prepare and engage in these discussions with clarity and confidence.
How to prepare for the conversation
- As soon as you are aware of a problem, plan to have the conversation with the individual concerned.
- People are often wary of opening up difficult conversations, fearing the consequences, so plan ahead. Some questions to consider include: What is your purpose in having the conversation? What do you hope to accomplish? What would be an ideal outcome? What impact does this have on you, other colleagues, and the business?
- Make some notes of the points you wish to cover.
- Arrange a time and a place for the meeting – ensuring you have privacy.
During the conversation
When you come together for the meeting remove any distractions, such as mobile phones and ensure others in the office know not to disturb you. You might want to open up the meeting by trying to set the employee at ease. Once you have explained that the purpose of the meeting is to discuss a difficult/sensitive issue, move straight to the topic for discussion.
- Be direct; explain in clear simple terms how you perceive the problem. Generalising or talking around the issue may only serve to confuse the matter and may leave the individual not understanding what it is you are trying to say.
- Avoid using negative statements, or conversations that start with, “you never…” or “you always…” Where appropriate offer up examples of incidents, dates, times and places. It will offer more credibility to the purpose of the meeting.
- Lead the meeting with curiosity. Even in situations where you believe you are right, don’t make assumptions; ask the other person for their opinions and views.
- When you are having a difficult conversation remember that it is a two-way process. Be open to what the other person is saying.
- Try to remain focused on the problem and not the person to reduce the risk of a defensive or hostile reaction.
- Be prepared for emotional reactions such as tears, arguments and denial. We cannot control any of these reactions, but we can prepare for them. Try to remain sensitive and compassionate, actively listening to what the person is saying.
- Document the meeting and include any details of plans or agreements that were made.
Putting it all together
Remember your interest is in resolving the issue not escalating it. Whatever happens, try to keep a calm manner and act with composure – in essence ‘respond’, but do not ‘react’.
Time taken to engage in empathetic listening and respectful sharing of divergent perspectives greatly increases the quality and speed of problem solving. While engaging in difficult conversations they often feel risky and challenging, the price of not having them – lost time and productivity and less than optimal results – could cost you and your organisation far more than the time and effort of doing so.
The art of communication is like anything else – skill and ease can be acquired with practice.
Ref: WPW0325
